Here Comes The Guilt Again

Well friends, We’re over a month into 2015 and I’m proud to tell you, I’ve written every single day. Sure, most days I only get through a page or two, but at least it’s something.

And that’s where the guilt comes in. No matter how much I tell myself that a page or two every day is good enough, I have this nagging voice inside my head telling me that it isn’t. As much as I try to tell myself things like I’m just trying to build good habits or that I’m taking baby steps, it all has a familiar feel to it. All those things I keep telling myself feel remarkably similar to the excuses I used to tell myself back when I wasn’t writing much at all.

Part of the problem is that I’m still not exactly sure where the story I’m writing is going. I thought I had a definitive plot but it seems like page after page of people not doing much of anything other than talking. I’m really trying to train myself to finish what I’ve started, but I feel like I’m going around in circles. I’m tempted to start on something else, but I hate the thought of giving up on this one. (Yes, I realize this last paragraph has been yet another excuse.)

Still, I’m soldiering on. I am proud of myself for sticking with it and getting closer to my ultimate goal of sitting on a beach, earning twenty percent. I mean of being a successful writer. I just wish that I had started sooner. I have a feeling that a little down the road I’ll be kicking myself for not pushing myself to do more each day.

Maybe the solution is to get my page or two done on the current story as a warm up, and then switch to a new project. Perhaps some short stories are in order.

Other than that, I’m (sort of) looking forward to my birthday on Wednesday. I think I’m finally reaching that age where birthdays are something to be dreaded rather than celebrated. I just pray to god that I’m published before I’m forty.

As always, be sure to follow me on Twitter @JustinMKelly1 and on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/jmkelly60. I’m only two followers away from breaking triple digits. How about helping me out?

The Importance Of Blowing Off Steam

As some of you may know, or may have been able to guess, I’ve been fairly stressed out lately. Between my job, my birthday, and other things, I’ve been in a constant state of stress. Not the kind of stress that motivates you either. The kind of stress where you feel absolutely helpless to do anything about it and so you do nothing but dwell on your helplessness and become a complete asshole.

Over the weekend I was able to relieve most of my stress thanks to the help of my girlfriend and her sister. Okay you pervs, not like that. My weekend started with a quiet birthday party that mainly consisted of hanging out with friends and having a few (too many) cocktails. More important than the drinking was the laughing, something I haven’t been doing nearly enough of lately. I found my smile.

The next day we started early with a little shopping followed by a late breakfast and then a nice relaxing drive in the hills. It was a beautiful, summery day. Something you don’t see too often in South Dakota in February. I could literally feel the tension leaving my body. So much so that by the time we got home I was physically exhausted. Not from the day, but from the previous weeks of constant pressure. I felt like a deflated balloon and yet I still felt like I was floating.

Sunday was mostly a lazy day with a visit to the theater  in the evening which was the perfect way to wrap up the weekend.

I’m sure as the week progresses the stress will begin to weigh me down again but as long as I remember to blow off a little steam on the weekend all will be well and I can write the rest of it away.

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